


Lizard on Ice

by knightinpinkunderwear



Category: Dexter (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canon Dialogue, Cussing, Explicit Language, Gen, Harassment, Humor, Insults, Internet, Minor Character Death, Pre-Canon, Serial Killers, Short One Shot, Silly, lizard on ice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 10:13:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25349014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knightinpinkunderwear/pseuds/knightinpinkunderwear
Summary: "You don't even walk like a normal person, you glide, like a fucking lizard on ice."
Comments: 6
Kudos: 60





	Lizard on Ice

**Author's Note:**

> I love Doakes' dialogue and this line is just spectacular.

"Fuck coincidences, I don't believe in them," Sargeant James Doakes says with a smug sort of _I know what you are_ look in his eyes the rest of his face neutral.

Lucky for Blood Spatter Analyst Dexter Morgan he doesn't actually know. 

Even so, an alarm is blaring in Dexter's head, it says: _RETREAT. DON'T GET CAUGHT. RETREAT. DON'T GET CAUGHT. REMEMBER THE CODE. DON'T GET_ _CAUGHT._ Doakes is too good at figuring him out, too good a detective, his instincts are dead on. So how is Dexter supposed to keep trying to convince him that they're all wrong?

"Anyway, I should-" Dexter nods, glancing back and forth, trying to cast doubt on Doakes' judgment of him. Making this awkward feel like the type risen from workplace harassment of an innocent and not an awkward born because Doakes is right about him. Even if he is. 

"There's something off about you, Morgan. I should've seen it before; the fake smile, the donuts." 

As if donuts implicate him for any behavioral issues. And there's no way for Doakes to prove his smile is fake either. 

"You don't even walk like a normal person, you glide, like a-" he takes a breath, "a fucking lizard on ice." 

Dexter Morgan has no idea how to take in or react to this... input. _Lizard on ice_. Dexter isn't even sure he knows how that differs from a normal lizard. Or if lizards even encounter ice. Cold-blooded reptiles probably wouldn't be able to keep any sort of body heat to survive a climate conducive to the presence of ice. 

"It's all a fucking act, and I ain't buying it," Doakes finishes, Dexter raises his eyebrows and nods along as if the ideas being presented are the ramblings of a slightly-crazy overworked man and not accurate observations of a detective who's closing in on a killer. 

"I think you're overreacting," Dexter chuckles, playing off as embarrassed and confused. He's just the poor civilian who said something eerily similar to a line from a killer's journal, there's no evidence that the line isn't all over the internet or TV in some cheap telenovela (not that Dexter knows, he hasn't checked). 

"You're hiding something, and one day I'm gonna figure out what it is," Doakes responds, seeing through his bullshit like Dexter almost wished he couldn't. As irritating as it is, it is almost refreshing to have someone notice him, the real him, if only from the bit that peaks through the cracks in the edges of his mask. "You're one creep motherfucker."

Doakes walks away and he can finally put his guard down, retreat, nearly empty box of donuts in hand. 

Lizard on ice. 

Would their cold, reptilian feet slip and slide like mammals are wont to do? Or would they get stuck? Would they use their claws to dig in and find purchase? 

How _would_ a lizard walk on ice? 

Would they walk? 

Or would they glide? As Doakes suggested. 

He drops the donut box on the edge of Angel's desk on his way to his. It has either three or four donuts left in it based on the weight. 

Lizard on ice. 

He starts working on the report of some poor young woman torn apart next to her highschool sweetheart. It's child's play, burglary gone very wrong and very sloppy. Killers even left behind some of their own blood and tissue. 

Dexter smiles, _amateurs_. So many killers are so sloppy. They don't put any real thought or effort into their killings. But then, most were not trained or guided on that path. 

He's ready to finalize the report when the words come back to him. _Lizard on ice._

How would a lizard move on ice? 

What would it look like? 

And what kind of lizard did he mean? An iguana? Alligator? For all Dexter knows he means a legless lizard. 

Legless lizards _do_ glide. Sort of. 

Against his better judgment (the echo of Harry Morgan) he finds himself typing into the browser search engine. 

_Lizard on ice._

"What'cha lookin' at?" It's Vince, who snuck up behind him through the dark and enclosed lab that neither of them has yet claimed as to belonging of one forensic technician. 

"Nothing really,"

"Why did I get my hopes up, you're far too vanilla to have an interesting search history," 

Dexter frowns, wondering if he should be insulted. _Probably not_ , Vince is a Grade-A pervert, anything that he'd find interesting Dexter would find confusing and quite possibly disgusting. 

"So why are you looking up; 'lizard on ice'?" Vince asks, leaning close. It wouldn't be unusual for a lollipop to be sticking out of his mouth at this time of day, but it's Tuesday, he'd already had a donut. 

"Something Doakes called me," Dexter responds, at this point, it is common knowledge amongst forensics and other 'lab geeks' that Doakes doesn't like him. (More than he doesn't like the rest of the lab geeks). 

"What is that supposed to mean?" Vince asks, which is exactly the point of searching it. 

"I don't know," he hits enter. There are thousands of results. For a band and two different songs. MTV music videos and late-night interviews... Nothing about any real lizards on ice. "Huh,"

"I guess we'll never know," Vince shrugs, walking off to invite Angel to some drinks night that Dexter already bailed on. He's got a date with an arsonist, who's got a body count approaching the double digits. A humble offering for the dark passenger. 

And another victim for Dearly Disturbed Dexter. Another drop of blood in his collection of slides. Another killer off the streets of Miami. Another life snuffed that deserves its end. 

This arsonist will make the number twenty-five, one victim for every year he's lived. An achievement for any serial killer. An achievement he's sure many don't get the chance to reach, thanks to the police, and to him. 

He packs up the file, standing to take it to Detective Nathans' desk.

And he _glides like a lizard on ice,_ whatever that fucking means. 

**Author's Note:**

> From what I can gather from the show's canon Dexter has been in blood spatter since he was like 23 or 24. I am assuming he got the expertise at 23-ish and transferred to Miami Metro at 24-25. So this puts Dexter at a few months into his career at Miami Metro Homicide.


End file.
